I JUST WON’T DO IT!! For some reason my pants are so tight today it’s hard to breathe. I don’t eat any different than I did pre-pregnancy. Why do my pants make me feel like I’ve eaten a big mack, extra large fries and a milk shake for breakfast, lunch and dinner for the last month? I hope some of my clothes will still fit me for the cruise. We leave this Friday and won’t be back until late on May 3rd. Woohoo! When we get back we’re joining a gym.
I went to the restroom not too long ago and looked at myself in the mirror. Holy crap. I look like I’ve popped. My body and I had a long conversation. I told it even though I should be 12 weeks pregnant with a cutie, I’m not. So it has to stop growing. It has to allow me to eat milk products*. It has to allow all of my clothes to fit me like they did just two months ago. And finally it has to realize that I’m not pregnant.
If my body continues this path of “popping” then I’m going to get some really strange looks on the cruise while I’m enjoying my so yummy Miami Vice’s that I’ve craved for some time now.
*Side note: A little over a month ago I tried to eat a few oreos and a small glass of milk after dinner and I felt so nauseous I had to go to bed. This happened again a week later. My husband and I went to a terrible new restaurant with another couple this past weekend. All of us left not even close to full because the food sucked so badly. We went to Dairy Queen afterwards for a blizzard. I ordered a small and got a quarter of the way into it and started feeling heavily nauseous. I’ve never had this problem until now.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Who do you think was more uncomfortable?
I got a call Friday evening from our insurance company. The lady verifies who I am and then goes on to say, “Our records indicate that you are pregnant.” My response was, “I was but I had a D&C last Friday.” The lady paused and then quickly stammered an apology. She was only calling to tell me about how they have a program for pregnant women.
Awesome. Call me in a few months and tell me about this. Hopefully at this point I'll need it.
Awesome. Call me in a few months and tell me about this. Hopefully at this point I'll need it.
Sunday, April 12, 2009
Two days past D&C
D&C was performed on Friday. We had to be at the office at 6:30 AM so we had to leave our house at 5:30 AM. Holy cow - that is when I normally get up for work!! I was so tired that the paperwork asked me for the "Country" that I was born in and I put the county I was born in!! LOL!! At least we had a good laugh!
Once they took me back and I had to change into the extremely ugly gown and the oven mits for socks the nurse came in to put the IV in. She tried once in my right hand by giving me numbing medicine and then trying to stick the IV in. Notice I said "trying." It didn't work so well. So she had to try the inside of my arm. She finally got that to work but by that time I was close to passing out. Up until the past few years I've never had problems but this is my fourth time I've been really close. For some reason each time I think I can fight it off without telling the nurse it's happening and then I become so hot that I'm fanning myself and they realize what is happening.
Once I felt better and spoke to the doctor, nurse and anesthesiologist they finally took me back to the OR. The last I remember is laying back, hearing that they started the anesthesia and then putting the mask on me. It felt like it was two minutes later and I was waking up. I said "we're done already?" Once my husband arrived in the room my doctor said that everything went well but that since I had a LEEP done a few years back that my cervix was very small and I believe he said that they have to clamp something onto my cervix during the procedure? I'm not so sure since I was basically holding my eyes open. He stitched me up and I should be fine and it shouldn't affect me when I do get pregnant but he'll want it to be closely motitored and I'll need to be seen every two weeks in 2nd tri and every week in my 3rd.
Other than that everything has gone good. I've had minimal bleeding and barely any cramps. Once I got home I spent the day on the couch. This is how my day went: I took a short nap, my husband brought me Wendys for lunch, I watched my soap, took a long nap, watched a movie and my husband brought home Chilis for dinner.
I did ask my doctor when he thinks we can start a new cycle. He said that he wanted us to wait a month so on the first week of May we'll come in and he'll start me on progesterone to start my period and we can get started! I feel so lucky that he isn't making us wait three months like some others have to do. I feel like he completely understand us and knows that I am okay. I realize this happened for a reason and I've already moved on and look forward to what the furture holds for us. I know that looking at the situation that our bright side is that we can get pregnant. This next time we'll pray even harder for a sticky healthy baby!
Once they took me back and I had to change into the extremely ugly gown and the oven mits for socks the nurse came in to put the IV in. She tried once in my right hand by giving me numbing medicine and then trying to stick the IV in. Notice I said "trying." It didn't work so well. So she had to try the inside of my arm. She finally got that to work but by that time I was close to passing out. Up until the past few years I've never had problems but this is my fourth time I've been really close. For some reason each time I think I can fight it off without telling the nurse it's happening and then I become so hot that I'm fanning myself and they realize what is happening.
Once I felt better and spoke to the doctor, nurse and anesthesiologist they finally took me back to the OR. The last I remember is laying back, hearing that they started the anesthesia and then putting the mask on me. It felt like it was two minutes later and I was waking up. I said "we're done already?" Once my husband arrived in the room my doctor said that everything went well but that since I had a LEEP done a few years back that my cervix was very small and I believe he said that they have to clamp something onto my cervix during the procedure? I'm not so sure since I was basically holding my eyes open. He stitched me up and I should be fine and it shouldn't affect me when I do get pregnant but he'll want it to be closely motitored and I'll need to be seen every two weeks in 2nd tri and every week in my 3rd.
Other than that everything has gone good. I've had minimal bleeding and barely any cramps. Once I got home I spent the day on the couch. This is how my day went: I took a short nap, my husband brought me Wendys for lunch, I watched my soap, took a long nap, watched a movie and my husband brought home Chilis for dinner.
I did ask my doctor when he thinks we can start a new cycle. He said that he wanted us to wait a month so on the first week of May we'll come in and he'll start me on progesterone to start my period and we can get started! I feel so lucky that he isn't making us wait three months like some others have to do. I feel like he completely understand us and knows that I am okay. I realize this happened for a reason and I've already moved on and look forward to what the furture holds for us. I know that looking at the situation that our bright side is that we can get pregnant. This next time we'll pray even harder for a sticky healthy baby!
Thursday, April 9, 2009
I'm about to throw up or freak out.
I don’t ever talk about work but right now I have to.
I work in a small marketing department for a construction equipment distributor. I am currently a contract employee and have been with this company going on a year this Tuesday. This job has given me a lot of advantages and experiences that no other job has provided me. A few months ago our company realigned the organization. In a meeting with the marketing department a couple of months back we were told that it wouldn’t be a bad thing to have our resumes up-to-date. They didn’t know if any lay-offs were happening but if they did they would probably be in the next 60 days. The 60 day mark is next Friday, the 17th. I was told in this meeting by my bosses’ boss that I’m the one who is most vulnerable since I am a contract employee. (Honestly, I think that is a bad move as they don’t pay me any benefits, I get no vacation or holiday time and they don’t have to match 401k. I also know my pay is under what they would normally pay a direct hire.)
Today, I receive an e-mail from my manager with a project. This is the type of project that I’ve never had to do and quite frankly isn’t something I care to do but will do it as I’m lucky to have a job. At the end of the e-mail she ended it with “This is good “resume” stuff…”
What would be your thought be if you received this in an email from your manager??
Here I am the day before my D&C and we’re leaving for our cruise in 15 days.
I work in a small marketing department for a construction equipment distributor. I am currently a contract employee and have been with this company going on a year this Tuesday. This job has given me a lot of advantages and experiences that no other job has provided me. A few months ago our company realigned the organization. In a meeting with the marketing department a couple of months back we were told that it wouldn’t be a bad thing to have our resumes up-to-date. They didn’t know if any lay-offs were happening but if they did they would probably be in the next 60 days. The 60 day mark is next Friday, the 17th. I was told in this meeting by my bosses’ boss that I’m the one who is most vulnerable since I am a contract employee. (Honestly, I think that is a bad move as they don’t pay me any benefits, I get no vacation or holiday time and they don’t have to match 401k. I also know my pay is under what they would normally pay a direct hire.)
Today, I receive an e-mail from my manager with a project. This is the type of project that I’ve never had to do and quite frankly isn’t something I care to do but will do it as I’m lucky to have a job. At the end of the e-mail she ended it with “This is good “resume” stuff…”
What would be your thought be if you received this in an email from your manager??
Here I am the day before my D&C and we’re leaving for our cruise in 15 days.
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
D&C Scheduled
D&C is scheduled for Friday at 8:00 AM.
I'm okay. Hanging in. Thankfully we leave for our cruise on the 24th as it is much needed.
I'm okay. Hanging in. Thankfully we leave for our cruise on the 24th as it is much needed.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Rolling
I’ve always been the kind of person who is happy go lucky. I’ve rolled with the punches even when I don’t like the punches. My boss made a comment while we were at lunch yesterday that emotionally I seem so strong and she can’t believe how well I’m taking this. Yes, on the outside I know I look strong but truly I’m not. When several of my work pants and jeans are so tight on me that not even a bella band is helping me; I am filled with anger because my body still thinks I’m pregnant. When every time I go to the bathroom I fight what I should be praying for. Should I pray for the miscarriage to finally start or do I want to hold out for hope that maybe the doctor was wrong? When I hear that my cousin’s wife is pregnant for the third time in four years and we all know that they cannot afford another child as she does not work and he has been working five different jobs to make sure they stay afloat – I have to fight myself for wondering why can’t this be me announcing I’m pregnant? When my step-sister-in-law pushes her three year old away and tells her to go away as she cannot eat with her in her lap – I wanted to tell her how selfish that was and that she hasn’t seen either of her girls all weekend and all her daughter wanted to do was sit in her lap and eat lunch with Mommy. But all I could do was pray to the lord that if he helps guide my husband and I to having a child I promise to never push my child away and I promise that every day of their life I will show them how loved and wanted they are. I’m rolling for the time being.
I want to take a moment to say how grateful I am for having an amazing boss. After working for my company for almost a year I am still a temporary employee. The economy has put a hold on being hired as a full-time employee. I decided in January to tell her about our struggles and explain why I’ll be taking time off for different appointments. She was extremely supportive and told me to take all the time I need. She has been really sweet and asking me how everything is going and actually listening to me. When I told her about the blighted ovum she asked follow up questions to try and understand what this means. She didn’t just say “oh, okay” and move along. She is truly interested in what is happening in our journey.
My husband called our RE this morning and spoke to him. I expressed to my husband that I’d like one more ultrasound before I schedule a d&c. I cannot stand the thought of having a d&c without an ultrasound first because what if something has happened in the past two weeks? What if by the grace of god our baby shows up and a miracle happens and the sac grew to the size it should be? I know the chances of this are 0 to none but I just have to know one more time. I go in on Monday for an ultrasound and then we’ll make a decision.
I want to take a moment to say how grateful I am for having an amazing boss. After working for my company for almost a year I am still a temporary employee. The economy has put a hold on being hired as a full-time employee. I decided in January to tell her about our struggles and explain why I’ll be taking time off for different appointments. She was extremely supportive and told me to take all the time I need. She has been really sweet and asking me how everything is going and actually listening to me. When I told her about the blighted ovum she asked follow up questions to try and understand what this means. She didn’t just say “oh, okay” and move along. She is truly interested in what is happening in our journey.
My husband called our RE this morning and spoke to him. I expressed to my husband that I’d like one more ultrasound before I schedule a d&c. I cannot stand the thought of having a d&c without an ultrasound first because what if something has happened in the past two weeks? What if by the grace of god our baby shows up and a miracle happens and the sac grew to the size it should be? I know the chances of this are 0 to none but I just have to know one more time. I go in on Monday for an ultrasound and then we’ll make a decision.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
