Sunday, May 17, 2009

Anxious

I'm getting extremely anxious. I really want my period to start NOW. Not tomorrow, not next week - NOW!! It's hard to control this feeling. It mostly happens when my husband and I see our nieces or out in public and see a child and we watch them along with making comments and giggle at them. The worst part that seems to hit me right in my stomach is signing onto Myspace or Facebook and seeing these statuses:

This is a status from my hairdresser:

"Had a great day with my hubby and sweet baby gurl! Can't believe our first anniversary is this weekend!"

Note: She was married in May 2008 and got pregnant just a few short months afterwards.

This status is from one of my best friends since high school:

"has a very active baby this morning!"

My friend is in her 20th week - they tried for over a year and a half to get pregnant and I'm very excited for them. When we thought we were pregnant they were so happy and excited for us - it actually allowed me to be excited because we were going to share our pregnancies together.

Everyone around me is getting to experience these moments but us. I want these moments. I want that feeling that I'll be needed for the rest of my life. I want to show my children exactly what my mother showed my brother and I - unconditional love.

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