Do you remember the song Ironic by Alanis Morissette? Well, that is my life. Last week I had a ton of hope that things were turning around for us. Who would produce 17 + follicles and not get pregnant? Last week I had sore bb’s, tired all of the time and Thursday night I woke up at 2 AM extremely nauseous. Against my better judgment on Friday I ran to Wal-mart on my lunch break and grabbed a box of 3 tests so that I’d have enough to use within the next week. I got back and ran to the bathroom, opened the test up and went to use it when low and behold what did I notice?
Blood. FML.
How ironic is it that when I go to test that little witch showed her ugly face. I had to leave work. I couldn’t think straight. I couldn’t believe this is MY LIFE. This is what I am dealing with. Since my first beta experience on March 4th, 2009 my life has turned into nothing but bad news. In one years time I’ve produced 30 + follies and I have nothing to show for it but medical bills, a lot more pain and sadness, one less tube and empty arms.
I am dreading the call that I need to make today. The call to tell my RE’s office that I am not pregnant and that AF showed up way too early. The call I dread even more is the return call from my RE. The call where he will tell me that he is sorry. 10,000 apologies will not help me. It’s not his fault.
Right now we plan on taking a break. We’re not even sure how long as before we could even think of using our last IUI we have to save up money for our deductible that goes up next year. And honestly I’m not even sure the time and money we’d spend on another IUI cycle would be worth it. Deep in my heart I believe that IVF is our next path. And unless we sell my grandmother’s house we can throw that out of the window. I’ve also decided to stop taking metformin for the time being as it is the most expensive drug I take on a daily basis. My goal for myself is to try and enjoy Christmas and New Years and plan for a fantastic 2010!!
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About Us
Our TTC Timeline
October 2007 - Stop taking BCP November 17, 2007 - Married! January 2008 - Start TTC March 2008 - Went to OB/GYN for cyst on my ovary and no AF, meds fixed issue for time being. October 2008 - Decided to call OBGYN about TTC they immediately referred me to an RE October 2008 - First appointment with RE October 2008 - Diagnosed with PCOS & Hyperthyroidism October 2008 - First SA for DH, 21 mil November 2008 - First appointment with Endocrinologist November & December 2008 – Many appointments for Thyroid, diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism and Graves disease, put on PTU December 2008 - Second SA for DH, numbers are half of first SA December 2008 - DH first appointment with Urologist January 2009 - DH has 3rd SA, blood work and ultrasound with Urologist, 21.5 mil and diagnosed with varicocele February 2009 – IUI # 1 with 50 mg Clomid, 1 mg Estrace and 1500 mg Metformin February 19, 2009 – IUI # 1 done! 5 follies, 3 or 4 mature February 25, 2009 – Progesterone level at 36! March 2009 – BFP and bleeding, low beta starting at 10 and didn’t continue to double with 3rd beta, diagnosed blighted ovum after several ultrasounds showed an empty sac April 2009 – D&C May 2009 - Progesterone to start cycle May 2009 - IUI # 2 with 100 mg Clomid and 1500 mg Metformin June 11, 2009 – IUI #2 done! 5 follies, 3 mature June 23, 2009 – BFP! Late June/July 2009 – Low betas starting at 9 that doubled for a couple of weeks then only raised slowly, bleeding at 6 weeks and continued for 15 days, diagnosed ectopic, D&C and laparoscopy to remove ectopic pregnancy and lost right tube. IVF now recommended for best chance. September 14, 2009 – AF Arrives, Start of IUI #3! 100 mg Clomid, 1 mg Estrace and 1500 mg Metformin September 22, 2009 – HSG, Left tube all clear! October 1, 2009 – IUI #3 done! October 14, 2009 – 13dpIUI and AF arrives, On to IUI # 4! Oh lucky number 4 please be the one!! 100 mg Clomid, 1 mg Estrace and 1500 mg Metformin October 28 & 29, 2009 - IUI #4 done! November 12, 2009 - AF arrives, on to IUI #5 with new protocol!! 100 iu's Follistim, 1500 mg Metformin and hCG trigger November 25/26, 2009 - B2B IUI done! 17+ follies December 4, 2009 - AF arrived early December 2009 - February 2011 - LONG break waiting for $$ to do IVF February 18, 2011 - IVF Consult April 2011 - IVF
Glossary of Crazy TTC Acronyms
BCP = Birth Control Pills Beta = Blood test for HcG (pregnancy hormone) BFN = Big Fat Negative (on HPT) BFP = Big Fat Positive (i.e. PREGNANT!) CBEFM = Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor CM = Cervical mucus DH = Dear Husband...or Damn Husband. ER = Egg Retrieval (part of IVF) ET = Embryo Transfer (last step of IVF) FET = Frozen Embryo Transfer Follies = Follicles or Eggs HPT = Home Pregnancy Test HSG = x-ray of Uterus and Fallopian tubes done by inserting dye through the cervix. IF = Infertility Injectibles = see "Stims" IUI = Intrauterine Insemination IVF = In Vitro Fertilization OHSS = Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome OPK = Ovulation Predictor Kit PCOS = Polycystic Ovary Syndrome PIO = Progersterone in Oil POAS = Pee on a stick (i.e. taking a HPT) PTU = Thyroid medication RE = Reproductive Endocrinologist SA = Semen Analysis Stims = follicle stimulating drugs TTC = Trying to Conceive TTTC = Trouble Trying to Conceive
2 comments:
(((HUGS)))) Soungs like a good plan: My goal for myself is to try and enjoy Christmas and New Years and plan for a fantastic 2010!!
I am so, so sorry. It just sucks, I know.
I hope you do enjoy the holidays and get some rest in your spirit. *hugs*
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