They get me every time!
Yesterday I found myself extremely emotional. I had random moments of tears and cries and then I went to the bathroom. The witch had arrived! Thank you Lord!! For 5 months now I haven't had to take progesterone once for AF to arrive...I think that is pretty awesome considering I am PCOS and before we started with my RE I was having 60+ day cycles and wouldn’t start a new one without the help of progesterone.
I never did hear from my RE yesterday. I'm okay with that considering we can't move to IVF any time soon. For now we will try on our own and hope for the best.
On Thursday evening I have a baby shower to go to. I’m so excited to go to this baby shower as this shower is being thrown for a fellow IF’er who tried for almost four years to get pregnant. For religious reasons she and her H decided not to pursue fertility treatment and decided to adopt. On a wonderful October day while still working on their home study they received a call from a family member about a young woman who was thinking of putting her unborn baby girl up for adoption. They were encouraged to send their profile to the young lady. The young lady sat down with all of the profiles to review and her very first one happened to be L and her H’s. She wouldn’t look at another one, she found the adoptive parents in them. Little Allie was born on Friday, January 12th. I cannot wait to celebrate with L and little Allie on Thursday. It is truly a blessing.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Monday, January 11, 2010
I’m going to give you the short version of the past week as I really could go on a rant…
My RE and I spoke last Monday and he wants us to move onto IVF for several reasons. He understands we don’t have IVF insurance and just don’t have the money to afford IVF. He said he would contact his business office to see what they could do about discounting an IVF cycle for us and to call back on Friday to go over the details and to get a prescription for progesterone if AF had not shown up by Friday.
So, I wait all week…I pray and I hope they are able to reduce the cost to something reasonable. My H is getting the largest bonus possible at the end of this month for his December sales and combined with our tax return I hope we are close to the cost and we would then figure out how to get the rest of the money.
I called on Friday. He wasn't in the office due to the weather. (Okay, so I live in Georgia, we hardly have snow but Thursday night we got maybe quarter of an inch combined with ice.) So I have to wait until Monday to speak with my RE.
Fast forward to Saturday afternoon…My H and I have a date night planned of dinner and shopping at the mall to use a couple of gift cards. We stop on our way out and pick up the mail. I open an envelope from my RE’s business office. And I see that it is forms for IVF along with a schedule of fees. I cried. It wasn’t at all what I had in mind. What they consider a discount is a slap in the face.
I was angry. Angry that my doctor allowed them to send out this paperwork and not even speak to me first. Angry that I wasn’t forewarned. Angry that I let me hopes get so high. Angry that even though my RE couldn't come into the office due to the weather that he then didn't know how to pick up the phone. Angry that this is where we are at.
And I am still angry. Angry, sad, mad that IF has taken my happy life and turned it upside down. I hate you IF!
We may be at the end of our TTC road and I honestly don't know what to think.
My RE and I spoke last Monday and he wants us to move onto IVF for several reasons. He understands we don’t have IVF insurance and just don’t have the money to afford IVF. He said he would contact his business office to see what they could do about discounting an IVF cycle for us and to call back on Friday to go over the details and to get a prescription for progesterone if AF had not shown up by Friday.
So, I wait all week…I pray and I hope they are able to reduce the cost to something reasonable. My H is getting the largest bonus possible at the end of this month for his December sales and combined with our tax return I hope we are close to the cost and we would then figure out how to get the rest of the money.
I called on Friday. He wasn't in the office due to the weather. (Okay, so I live in Georgia, we hardly have snow but Thursday night we got maybe quarter of an inch combined with ice.) So I have to wait until Monday to speak with my RE.
Fast forward to Saturday afternoon…My H and I have a date night planned of dinner and shopping at the mall to use a couple of gift cards. We stop on our way out and pick up the mail. I open an envelope from my RE’s business office. And I see that it is forms for IVF along with a schedule of fees. I cried. It wasn’t at all what I had in mind. What they consider a discount is a slap in the face.
I was angry. Angry that my doctor allowed them to send out this paperwork and not even speak to me first. Angry that I wasn’t forewarned. Angry that I let me hopes get so high. Angry that even though my RE couldn't come into the office due to the weather that he then didn't know how to pick up the phone. Angry that this is where we are at.
And I am still angry. Angry, sad, mad that IF has taken my happy life and turned it upside down. I hate you IF!
We may be at the end of our TTC road and I honestly don't know what to think.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Hello? AF?
Today is Cycle Day 30. And no signs whatsoever. My previous 5 cycles were all 28 days or less. So where are you? I'm not sure if I mentioned before but on CD 2 I stopped taking Metformin as I wanted a break and it really is expensive. Could it be that the Metformin was actually working and I didn't even know it?
My RE called me on the 23rd but I didn't know the number so I didn't answer. He asked for me to call after the holidays so that we could go over our next plan. At the time I wasn't ready to hear what he said. I wanted to get through the holidays and not think about what went so wrong in 2009.
I'm now ready to hear what he has to say. I'm ready for AF to come. As soon as she does I will start taking the Metformin again. I will call my RE's office on Monday to speak with him. I also plan on calling the business office on Monday to find out if we overstim again how much is the cost to convert to IVF. I'm interested to hear if the cost is lower.
On Friday, my H and I went to Target and we wound up looking at the Christmas clearance decorations (of course :) While I was looking I found one of the stockings that matched the new ones I bought for Christmas...I couldn't help but buy it as I have this feeling we will need that extra stocking next year. :)
I'm ready for an awesome 2010!!
My RE called me on the 23rd but I didn't know the number so I didn't answer. He asked for me to call after the holidays so that we could go over our next plan. At the time I wasn't ready to hear what he said. I wanted to get through the holidays and not think about what went so wrong in 2009.
I'm now ready to hear what he has to say. I'm ready for AF to come. As soon as she does I will start taking the Metformin again. I will call my RE's office on Monday to speak with him. I also plan on calling the business office on Monday to find out if we overstim again how much is the cost to convert to IVF. I'm interested to hear if the cost is lower.
On Friday, my H and I went to Target and we wound up looking at the Christmas clearance decorations (of course :) While I was looking I found one of the stockings that matched the new ones I bought for Christmas...I couldn't help but buy it as I have this feeling we will need that extra stocking next year. :)
I'm ready for an awesome 2010!!
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