Here we go again...Will the 3rd time be the charm?

Today is CD 4. Which means, yes folks, I’ve had two cycles in a row that were 29 days each. WTF? Did my body finally get the memo that 60+ days for a cycle just isn’t cool? This also means that even though I got a positive on an OPK (and for 4 more days) that our hail mary didn’t work. I actually gave up hope due to having so many positive OPKs. But that didn’t stop me from wasting 4 HPTs.

I’m also on day 2 of clomid. Oh how I have not missed Mr. Clomid. Yep, we’re going for our 3rd IUI. I also have an HSG scheduled for next Tuesday. Maybe the 3rd time will be the charm for us??

I have to say that I am scared. I think I’m more scared of this cycle working but ending bad then it actually not working at all. When I went to make the call on Tuesday that I was on CD 2 to my RE’s office I had a panic attack. I felt my chest get heavy and I couldn’t breathe. Then I started crying. I tried to call my H but he wasn’t answering. He called me back about an hour later and I asked him to make the call. Which he gratefully did. Just knowing that we’re headed down this road again and that the previous attempts didn’t work out is freaking me out. I don’t want any more emotional and physical pain. I’m not sure I can handle it again.

I just keep praying that we will pull through this. That on the other side of all of this there is life past infertility.