Freaking out because that is what I do best.

Let's start out with Sunday... On Sunday I started spotting. I freaked and thought it was over. It stopped. I decided on Monday to buy a test. I got back from the store and had some spotting. I had it in my mind then that the IUI didn’t work. I tested. After a few minutes I didn’t see a thing so I went and watched TV and took our dog to the vet. Came home, used the restroom and noticed the test had a second line. I freaked out because that is what I do best. DH said “Oh yeah, I saw that line earlier too.” I again freaked out because that is what I do best. He couldn’t remember how long after I took the test he saw that but knew it wasn’t too long after I took it. About two hours later I took another test. It was positive. I freaked out because that is what I do best. Later that night we ran to Wal-mart and bought an Equate brand and then a CBE digital. Right before bed I took the Equate and also noticed the bleeding was heavier. It was a negative. I was angry that the other two tests lied to me. The next morning I woke up and took the digital. It popped up with “Not Pregnant.” Again, I was angry that the other two tests lied to me.

Let’s go back to between taking the first test and then noticing it had a line hours later. In this time I called my RE office to start our 2nd IUI. I made an appointment for Tuesday at 11. I told them about the tests and the bleeding. Which by the way the bleeding was full force at this point. They did an ultrasound, urine test and took my blood to check my Beta. My nurse said the urine test was negative. She gave me my instructions for this cycle and told me she would call me today only if my Beta came back positive and off I went.

Let’s fast forward to 4:30 AM this morning…I wake up… my body says “GET YOUR ASS TO THE BATHROOM RIGHT NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE GOING TO THROW UP”… my stomach felt uneasy after this for a while but then nothing else.

Let’s fast forward to right now…So here I am…it’s Wednesday…I just get back from lunch…my office phone has a voicemail… it’s my nurse... she says to call her… I call, get the office voicemail…I leave a message…I’m still waiting on a phone call… and freaking out because that is what I do best.

Either she has forgotten she wouldn’t call me with Negative results or it came back positive. So I am freaking out because that is what I do best.

EDIT: Also, I have to use the restroom so bad but I don't want to leave my desk in fear I'll miss her call again.