I’m feeling very emotional today. I can’t get my doctors words out of my head. I know that my beta numbers are on the low scale but still well within the range that I could be okay. I understand that I could have the same problem again. I’ve already thought about this – many times. But I had decided when my beta doubled for a second time last Monday that I wasn’t going to worry myself. I was going to be happy knowing that two lines show up on tests. I wanted to feel normal. I just wanted to bask in knowing that I am pregnant. Infertility has already robbed me of happiness and normalcy but why did my doctor have to do the same thing? I now find myself searching google for any glimpse of hope.
On my lunch break I checked my facebook and noticed one of my friends who has a baby posted pictures of her trip to the beach. While looking through them you could see the happiness of not only the baby but how happy her and her husband were to have a child. You could see the bond they had with their child and I started crying. I want that bond for my husband and I so badly.
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
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1 comments:
(((hugs)))
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