I’m feeling very emotional today. I can’t get my doctors words out of my head. I know that my beta numbers are on the low scale but still well within the range that I could be okay. I understand that I could have the same problem again. I’ve already thought about this – many times. But I had decided when my beta doubled for a second time last Monday that I wasn’t going to worry myself. I was going to be happy knowing that two lines show up on tests. I wanted to feel normal. I just wanted to bask in knowing that I am pregnant. Infertility has already robbed me of happiness and normalcy but why did my doctor have to do the same thing? I now find myself searching google for any glimpse of hope.
On my lunch break I checked my facebook and noticed one of my friends who has a baby posted pictures of her trip to the beach. While looking through them you could see the happiness of not only the baby but how happy her and her husband were to have a child. You could see the bond they had with their child and I started crying. I want that bond for my husband and I so badly.
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About Us
Our TTC Timeline
October 2007 - Stop taking BCP November 17, 2007 - Married! January 2008 - Start TTC March 2008 - Went to OB/GYN for cyst on my ovary and no AF, meds fixed issue for time being. October 2008 - Decided to call OBGYN about TTC they immediately referred me to an RE October 2008 - First appointment with RE October 2008 - Diagnosed with PCOS & Hyperthyroidism October 2008 - First SA for DH, 21 mil November 2008 - First appointment with Endocrinologist November & December 2008 – Many appointments for Thyroid, diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism and Graves disease, put on PTU December 2008 - Second SA for DH, numbers are half of first SA December 2008 - DH first appointment with Urologist January 2009 - DH has 3rd SA, blood work and ultrasound with Urologist, 21.5 mil and diagnosed with varicocele February 2009 – IUI # 1 with 50 mg Clomid, 1 mg Estrace and 1500 mg Metformin February 19, 2009 – IUI # 1 done! 5 follies, 3 or 4 mature February 25, 2009 – Progesterone level at 36! March 2009 – BFP and bleeding, low beta starting at 10 and didn’t continue to double with 3rd beta, diagnosed blighted ovum after several ultrasounds showed an empty sac April 2009 – D&C May 2009 - Progesterone to start cycle May 2009 - IUI # 2 with 100 mg Clomid and 1500 mg Metformin June 11, 2009 – IUI #2 done! 5 follies, 3 mature June 23, 2009 – BFP! Late June/July 2009 – Low betas starting at 9 that doubled for a couple of weeks then only raised slowly, bleeding at 6 weeks and continued for 15 days, diagnosed ectopic, D&C and laparoscopy to remove ectopic pregnancy and lost right tube. IVF now recommended for best chance. September 14, 2009 – AF Arrives, Start of IUI #3! 100 mg Clomid, 1 mg Estrace and 1500 mg Metformin September 22, 2009 – HSG, Left tube all clear! October 1, 2009 – IUI #3 done! October 14, 2009 – 13dpIUI and AF arrives, On to IUI # 4! Oh lucky number 4 please be the one!! 100 mg Clomid, 1 mg Estrace and 1500 mg Metformin October 28 & 29, 2009 - IUI #4 done! November 12, 2009 - AF arrives, on to IUI #5 with new protocol!! 100 iu's Follistim, 1500 mg Metformin and hCG trigger November 25/26, 2009 - B2B IUI done! 17+ follies December 4, 2009 - AF arrived early December 2009 - February 2011 - LONG break waiting for $$ to do IVF February 18, 2011 - IVF Consult April 2011 - IVF
Glossary of Crazy TTC Acronyms
BCP = Birth Control Pills Beta = Blood test for HcG (pregnancy hormone) BFN = Big Fat Negative (on HPT) BFP = Big Fat Positive (i.e. PREGNANT!) CBEFM = Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor CM = Cervical mucus DH = Dear Husband...or Damn Husband. ER = Egg Retrieval (part of IVF) ET = Embryo Transfer (last step of IVF) FET = Frozen Embryo Transfer Follies = Follicles or Eggs HPT = Home Pregnancy Test HSG = x-ray of Uterus and Fallopian tubes done by inserting dye through the cervix. IF = Infertility Injectibles = see "Stims" IUI = Intrauterine Insemination IVF = In Vitro Fertilization OHSS = Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome OPK = Ovulation Predictor Kit PCOS = Polycystic Ovary Syndrome PIO = Progersterone in Oil POAS = Pee on a stick (i.e. taking a HPT) PTU = Thyroid medication RE = Reproductive Endocrinologist SA = Semen Analysis Stims = follicle stimulating drugs TTC = Trying to Conceive TTTC = Trouble Trying to Conceive
1 comments:
(((hugs)))
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