5w3d

I want to start this post off by saying I love my doctor and his entire staff. I appreciate all of the monitoring to make sure this is a healthy pregnancy.

But the more and more I think about what this other doctor said the more I get pissed off. I had an ultrasound done, which the tech was fantastic. She explained everything and let me know what everything was. She didn't see a sac, which I knew they wouldn't be able to since I am so early on. She else did not see an ecoptic, which made me happy to hear. Nothing bad was seen on the ultrasound. Afterwards, we went to talk to the doctor and get the results from my beta they drew this morning. My beta went up to 93. Up 21 from yesterday. He flat out told me that he hopes my levels go up and then steadily go back down to 0. He did not want this to form into pregnancy, at all. He wants me to repeat my beta on either Thursday or Friday. He also said if my levels do not go down then they will dicuss terminating the pregnancy.

Excuse me? My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for over a year now. I don't know if this guy doesn't have a personality or what but flat out telling us you don't want this pregnancy to work without the least bit of compassion breaks my heart. Someone needs to teach this dude compassion. I almost took the heel of my shoe to his nuts. I totally and completely understand that they only want the best and look out for the patient but this doctor works with infertiles for a living - you'd think he would understand the emotional effects this has on a couple.

For now, my husband and I have decided to keep doing the betas and when they want to do an u/s we'll do it. But until they see something absolutely wrong with the ultrasound we're not terminating this pregnancy. We've put too much heart, time, hope, love and money into this for them to give up so easily.

I'm sorry if it seems like I'm in 100 different directions on this but I'm still fired up. I'm also sick with a nasty cold and I'm very nauseated this evening.