Unbelievable is the only word to describe this week. Late Sunday night I had to take my DH to the ER because the two blood clots that are in his right leg got worse and from his knee down all the way through this toes were swollen so bad you couldn’t tell her had an ankle. He was also in excruciating pain. We were in the ER from 11 PM to 4 AM. They gave him a shot of Lovenox and lortab and sent us on our way. After only a few hours sleep we had to get up and get ready for my ultrasound appointment. The ultrasound tech that the sac was larger but not by much and she still didn’t see anything inside. At this point I just sit and stare at the ceiling not knowing what to think. My doctor comes in to talk to us and tells us he is very sorry and really had a lot of hope after seeing a sac last week and that my beta had doubled but that he is diagnosing me with a Blighted Ovum. My body thinks that I am pregnant but in all reality I’m not. My embryo never made it. So my two options are to wait it out and let nature takes its course or I can do a D&C.
At this time we’ve decided to wait. After my husband’s two trips to the ER, several appointments for him, medicine for him, all of my appointments and medicine we are running low on funds so at this time I prefer not to spend the extra money to kill my pregnant/not really pregnant state. I don’t have a ton of words for what is happening. Maybe because it hasn’t truly happened yet? When will my body realize there isn’t a baby?? Why does my body fail me over and over again? Did I do something wrong? I guess what I have right now is questions. I’ve only truly cried once and that was Monday night trying to sleep. I feel like a failure.
To top it all off yesterday when I went to leave for work I realized my car is DEAD. Great.
Thursday, March 26, 2009
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8 comments:
(((hugs))) I am so Sorry.
I'm very sorry. I had a blighted ovum. I started spotting at eight weeks. I had a D&C for personal reasons (but probably wouldn't do it again). I passed most of everything the day before my D&C. I was at about eight and a half to nine weeks.
I'm so sorry you have to go through this.
Here from LFCA. I am so very sorry to hear your news. I've been through this twice and know the desperation and the feelings involved. Wishing you peace.
I'm so sorry for you loss. ((hugs))
Here from LFCA.
Here from LFCA. I'm so, so sorry. I just had a blighted ovum. I started bleeding (heavily) on my own about 4 days after stopping progesterone, but my hCG was still rising, so my doctor strongly recommended the d&c (until then it was my decision).
There's no right decision - only the right decision for you. I hope your body figures it out soon.
I am so sorry you got such devastating news. I had a blighted ovum on my first pregnancy and miscarried naturally. Later on I had a D&C after an early loss so we could have the chromosomes tested. The D&C was a bad experience, it was much more invasive and painful than the natural miscarriage and took a lot longer to recover from. If I had a choice I would go with natural.
It is so difficult to swing from no hope to hope and back again. I would like to send you my sympathies.
I'm so sorry about this pregnancy. I have had one blighted ovum where I was about 8 weeks along and the sac was empty, and I have also had a misdiagnosed blighted ovum when I was 8 weeks along and the u/s machine didn't pick up the baby's heartbeat, but did at a hospital, that baby died just before 9.5 weeks, I opted for d&cs in both cases so that I could get on the road to physical recovery a lot sooner rather than waiting for my body to miscarry naturally. Usually our clinic has a benchmark, if the pregnancy is about 8 weeks or more, they recommend a d&c. With both d&cs it cost us about $1600 and impacted really badly on our financial situation.
I have also had a natural miscarriage earlier this year. In my experience I much prefer a d&c as a natural m/c can take some time to get kick started, esp if the hormone levels are high. The downside with waiting too is that despite the natural m/c, the uterus may retain some tissue and you may need a d&c anyway.
Just my experiences with it all. If you were starting to spot or bleed I'd say wait it out so you could save some money.
Once again, this is such an awful thing to have happened. Please take the time to grieve and look after yourself.
"Why does my body fail me over and over again? Did I do something wrong?"
Why our bodies fail is is not a question even the most experienced RE can answer. No, you did NOT do anything wrong, easier said I know. After 5 miscarriages and 1 stillbirth, sometimes I carry so much guilt I can barely breathe. The damn name that is given to a fertilised egg that doesn't progress "a blighted OVUM" implying that its the egg's fault...doesn't help either. First trimester miscarriages and b/o are usually the cause of chromosomal issues, which could be linked to either partner. If you had a d&c done, it could be possible to test the pregnancy 'tissue' (the baby) to check the chromosomes.
"I guess what I have right now is questions." Absolutely. I had so many questions my ex- RE was getting frustrated with me. The testing of the 'tissue' is one way to get answers.
Take care,
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