Not feeling hopeful

By now I’m usually getting a very faint line but not this time. I don’t hold out very much hope for this cycle.

I just went back through my blog to reread posts from the previous two rounds and realized our count wasn’t as strong post-wash as it had been previously. We only had around 7 million. The other two times were 11 and 16 million. We also didn’t BD the next day either. We did BD the morning after the second IUI but not with the first. After all the bad this year feeling positive just doesn’t fall under a category I’m able to use.

Although, do I really want this cycle to mimic any of the things that the last two cycles did? They both ended bad, so why would I? The only parts that are the same is it took just as long for my follies to get to the mature stage, I had my IUI on a Thursday just like all the rest and I’ve had a ton of CM from O on just like last time.

Right now I pray that instead of another bad BFP I’d much rather a BFN. Although, a good BFP would be even better.