We did IUI 1 of 2 for this cycle today. It started off with our nurse telling us that our post-wash was only 2.8 million. Which she followed up with, “It’s low but it’s still enough to get you pregnant.” My response was less than enthusiastic. While we waited on the doctor my H and I discussed how this cycle could be any more of an abomination. And when our doctor came in it just went even further downhill. He sat down and went over each of our sperm counts for all of our IUI’s. We’ve gone from 16 to 11 to 7.5 and now 2.5. Our pre-wash numbers were in the 7-8 million range. He explained that the amount this time was 1.3 and last time it was 2.8 so that has something to do with the low counts. This next part I’m not too familiar with but what we do have to work with they were at a stage 4 and that is really good as they didn’t die. He also explained a lot more about our sper.m counts but I was so thrown back that we were having to have this talk that it took everything in me not to cry…so listening wasn’t my top priority at the moment. He then moved on to my thin lining. He said if this cycle doesn’t work he wants us to either A) Take a break or B) Change medications. He is afraid that clomid is thinning out my lining. And he doesn’t want me on it for another cycle since I was just on it for the two previous. He then ended this lovely conversation by saying, “So this is going to work, right?” It took everything in me not to laugh. I just shrugged my shoulders. I couldn’t say yes when I’ve already got my mind set on this cycle failing.
After the procedure he discussed us having our 2nd IUI tomorrow. He mentioned that if we wanted we could always BD and not come in but if we wanted to come in tomorrow and do the IUI he’d like us to but they are unsure of what our counts will be. (FYI we have decided to do our 2nd IUI tomorrow.)
As soon at the doctor left the room I told H that him going over everything beforehand really made me stressed out and upset. Both of us are just shocked that after everything we have been through this year that another punch in the face was thrown at us today. I just can’t believe this is our life.
After we had lunch together I just sat in my car and cried. I don’t know how much more of this I can handle. I don’t understand what I’ve done. How could life be this unfair? When will our prayers be answered? I can’t wait to be a mom…so lord, if you’re reading this…please guide us through this. Our hearts are aching.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
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2 comments:
That is a blow about the low counts - I'm so sorry! I hate, hate, hate how they fluctuate all over the place. Ours were much lower than we were expecting at our IUI, too. But the good news about that is that they can also go up, too. So maybe the numbers will look better next round (if there is a next one!). I'm praying there's not - my RE said he has seen lots of pregnancy with low counts!! ((hugs))
(((hugs))). Not sure what to say but just know that I'm praying for you. Keep your head up and keep striving hard to get to your dream. Many times I wanted to give up....and every time I said I was done, hope whispered one more time. Keep at it!
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